So I was thinking how much I love stereotypes and ethnic jokes, & I realized that there aren’t enough good anti American jokes. Hopefully I won’t be attacked for being a racist if I make jokes about my own country. So I thought about the qualities of Americans that are annoying. I had to think often in terms of conservative or liberal and I made up this spate of lightbulb jokes.

Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: One because he can’t get a coalition together to help him.

A: Two. One to screw in the light bulb, and one to apologize to minorities that the light bulb is white.

A: None. Porn addiction is better in the dark.

A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and one to announce a trigger warning for people who might be scared of the sudden light.

A: As long as the CEO gets his pay it doesn’t matter how many it takes.

A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and one to blame the other political party for letting the light go out.

A: Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to brag about how he was the first one to put in an energy efficient and environmentally friendly bulb.

A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and one to complain about the environmental impact of how the electricity was created.

A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and want to check if there is an environmental rebate.

A: You expect me to climb that ladder? Isn’t there an easier way to do this?

A: One – how many obese Americans do you think that poor ladder can hold?

A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and one to man the camera for the exciting reality show.

A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and one to complain about how illegal immigrants are taking blue collar jobs away.

A: Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to complain about how manufacturing jobs are going overseas.

A: Of course it’s one, I can do this by myself thank you.

A: Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to complain that it’s not a Christmas bulb.